What Day Is It?

The question of the day is, “What day is it?” Since I haven’t had any questions lately, I’m asking (and answering) one myself. Today is Wednesday. Today is December 26, 2007. Today is the first day of Kwanzaa. Today is my Twentieth Anniversary. What? Actually, it is my tenth wedding anniversary, but since we were married on the tenth anniversary of our first date, we are celebrating our Twentieth Anniversary. What took us so long to get married? I mean, who waits ten years to get married? Lots of people do actually. Who gets married the day after Christmas? Not many people do. Except for people who fell in love on Christmas Day, had their first date the next day and lived happily ever after (with six children, many joys, trials and tribulations in between)!

I hope everyone enjoys the rest of the holiday season and has a wonderful New Year! Got a question? You know where to go…I don’t care what you ask, Just ask Mo.

Potty training/Toilet training...

You asked, “When is the best time to move from potty trained to toilet trained?” Your three year old is 100% potty trained but reluctant to try the toilet. Well, congratulations on the major milestone! Now, you want to hear about my own experience in this messy department? First of all, all children are different and potty and toilet train at different paces. My boys all trained right on the toilet, so there was no transitioning from potty to toilet. We found this easier with the boys, since they were using the 'watch what Daddy does' technique of toilet training! On the other hand, my daughter Kiah had a princess potty and she also was reluctant to give her potty up. We had to get her a “princess seat”, known to everyone else as a toddler sized toilet seat that fits right onto the toilet! Kiah had a lot of fears of the big people potty; she would fall in, her tushy would get wet, she would get flushed, etc. Her new princess seat worked wonders though, making the hole smaller on the toilet so that she couldn’t fall in, get her tushy wet or get flushed! You can get them anywhere you find potty chairs, from simple ones at www.babiesrus.com to fancy ones at www.rightstart.com, take your pick! As I said before, children like to do things at their own pace. Forcing a child to toilet train sometimes leads to regression. If your daughter doesn’t feel safe giving up her potty yet, do you really want to undo all her hard work at potty training just to put her on the toilet? No accidents? She’s already amazing! When she is on the potty, ask her about the toilet. Kiah was able to tell me when she was very young that she was afraid of how big the toilet was (of course, when I told her I was not afraid to use the toilet, she was also able to tell me that my butt was too big to fall in!). Anyhow, she went with me to buy her princess seat and watched me put it on the toilet. It made a nice smooth transition for her. Your daughter will not ask to bring her potty chair to kindergarten with her, really.

Remember, expect a whole new experience with baby #2. With each of my children, their personality contributed to the process. They were trained anywhere from 23 to 30 months, some wore training pants, one wore princess panties, and one wore pull-ups! Some had accidents, some didn't. One wet the bed until he was five, he was trained the earliest and thus I learned: Never rush it! Well, I hope I helped. Let me know. Got more questions, Just ask Mo!

Kill her with kindness

You asked, “What is the best way to deal with a rude mother in law? When she insults you publicly do you ignore her or say something?” First of all, I’m sorry you have to deal with someone in your life that is rude to you and insults you, especially in public! As hard as it may be, my advice would be to ignore her as much as possible, then kill her with kindness. By insulting you publicly, she may be trying to get a reaction from you, in turn making you look bad. So, when the two of you are at the next family function and she tells you how awful your outfit is, pretend you didn’t hear her (too much noise)... if that’s not possible, SMILE, and tell her that you love hers. Hopefully she’ll be stunned into silence and you will be the bigger person.

For advice from other women who know what you are going through, ivillage.com has a message board just for you. Read all about other women’s issues with their mother in laws and how they solved them at http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rldealingwit . Now if you want more professional advice, check out the book Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage by Susan Forward, PhD. There are many books on the subject, but this one is highly recommended.

Finally, there are helpful, sensitive, wonderful mother in laws out there. We really appreciate you! Hopefully, you know who you are. If I helped, let me know! Got a question? Just Ask Mo.

I don't drink Tea

You asked "How do I get tea stains out of my white shirts?" For someone who doesn’t drink tea, I buy an awful lot of it, especially now that it’s cold outside. The males in my home are to blame for this, so my own solution to the problem is this: no white shirts! Since I don’t think that will work for you, here’s what you should do: As soon as you notice the stain, soak in cold water for about 30 min, rub a little laundry detergent on to the spot and throw it in the wash. I think Tide w/ bleach takes out everything, just my opinion though. If you’ll be drinking (tea) and driving, you should buy a Tide-To-Go pen, so you can treat your stain ‘on the road’ before it gets a chance to set. For stubborn stains, try this: First rinse with warm water, then pour boiling water over the stain, wash in soapy water. If you want to find out how to take out almost any stain, go to: http://www.chemistry.co.nz/stain_frame.htm or try http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/ and go to the "stain-solver"!


I hope my answer helps, let me know. Got another question? Just Ask Mo

It's Grandma's job to indulge, isn't it?

You asked, “It’s Grandma’s job to indulge, isn’t it?” I’m going to be honest with you here, there are two answers to your question: Yes and No! Actually, indulging your grandchildren is a wonderful and generous thing. They deserve as much time and attention as a Grandma wants to give, gifts not required! That said, Mom and Dad’s rules need to be respected along the way. My suggestion is an open conversation to agree on some limits, and then indulge away Grandma. By spoiling “within limits” you still get to indulge your grandchildren while fostering a healthy adult relationship with your own child. Remember, some of the best childhood memories are those of time spent with Grandparents. Make those memories amazing, "within limits"! A great article to take a look at: http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/family_relationships/a2004-09-21-grand-welcome.html.

Well, thanks for the question! I hope I helped. If there's anything else you want to know, Just Ask Mo!

How Dare I Think I Can Answer Your Questions???

I do not want to come off as a "know it all", because that is definitely not the case! I am constantly reading. Books, magazines, internet research, textbooks, children's books; you name it, I'll read it. My children are 18, 17, 15, 13, 10 and 7, four boys and two girls, so there are many different activities, interests and conversations going on around here. When people hear me say I have six children they usually ask me if I'm crazy first and then how I do it...Because of my children, I have been lucky enough to have tons of great advice and information be given to me by amazing people. Now I can pass it along. So ask away, what do you want to know? I don't care what you ask, Just Ask Mo!